


How to Flirt with Aliens

by EuphoriaWriter



Series: Adventures of FTM Reader and Mallek (Placeholder name) [1]
Category: FriendSim - Fandom, Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: After care, Alien Sex, Alien genitalia, Aliens, Blood, Bulges and Nooks, Crying, Cute, Dirty Talk, Emotions, FTM, FTM Reader, Fingering, Homesick, Horn Stimulation, I did my best for an awkward situation, In my mind their all 18, Interspecies Awkwardness, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, M/M, No fuck YOU, Oral Sex, Other, Party, Penetration, Piercings, Praise Kink, Reader is a trans man, Rough Sex, Sex, Slow Burn, Slow Burnish, Smut, Vaginal Penetration, awkwardly explaining being trans, can I please fuck Mallek?, drones, first time having sex with an alien, fuck you, horn grabbing, how old are these kids again?, if not its an au where they are 18, interspecies fucking, oh god theres so much blood, rough sex?, scawwy, troll culture talk, troll talk, trolls got both, x Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 12:02:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17918444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EuphoriaWriter/pseuds/EuphoriaWriter
Summary: “It definitely is,” he responded and you giggle at him reaching forward to grab at the fabric of Mallek’s hoodie pocket.“Mind showing me then? I’m a bit of a hands on learner when new facts come to my attention,” you tilt your head up at Mallek, catching the toothy grin on his face as his other hand comes up to gently glide over the surface of your cheek.“I can teach you a thing or two, but I’ll be glad to repeat this lesson.”





	1. My Hand Slipped

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in hell and there is no way out.

The longer you stay on Alternia the more you started to feel more like a vagrant more than an alien. You had spent some time helping Skylla out at her farm the last few days, revisiting her place was a lot warmer and welcomed thing than getting sunburnt and kicking some bandit ass. The ranch was wonderful in the dim coolness of night, the lusus would practically be glowing and radiating. They did not get any visits from the bandits, but while you were sitting on the fence next to a, “Moobeast” looking lusus you could see something similar to a motorcycle blaring acres away on the road. Skylla scoffed, said that whenever a “Cycle Automable,” comes roaring into Outglut the sound makes the lusus get nervous and tend to lose their appetite.

So you decided to be on your way that night and maybe on your way down the road when you saw that Cycle Mobile parked outside of the saloon a few miles out of Outglut, you decided to take a joy ride. Of course the troll noticed you taking his bike, but by some godsend miracle you hijacked it out of there. You’ve become more bold the longer you stayed in Alternia that’s for sure, but being in good spirit you left the bike in good spirits at the edge of Thrashthrust in the same condition you found it.

Being back in the city was exhilarating, your Palmhusk lit to life the moment you set foot down, apparently you were “off the grid” and everyone wanted a piece of action from you. By everyone you mean whoever slid into your dms, and your dms were already bursting from all those slick slide ins. Feeling cute, you took a selfie, you realized that it’s been a while since you saw what you looked like.

You were decked in clothes that Skylla lent you, worn in black jeans, a pair of bronze shit kickers that were bejeweled from Skylla’s youth. You had donned a  black shirt that needed a good wash, one of Skylla’s denim jackets where you kept a pair of leather gloves in the pockets of. At least you were clean and well fed, you could imagine yourself living on Skylla’s ranch the rest of your natural life here, as long as the drones didn’t find you. You were kind of an alien outlaw at this point, can’t make too much of a ruckus, but the desire for friendship got in the way of that a lot.

There was a text from Daraya, you missed her a lot, you should have visited the caves while you were out in Outglut, but there were oddly named motorcycles to steal and adventures to be had.

**▲meet me here, or whatever▼**

The message followed up with a Goregle maps location in Thrashthrust, looks like Daraya was still up to sneaking out of the caves again. You were not sure where you were supposed to be meeting Daraya, but soon you managed to bump into her on the street with your palmhusk dinging to signify that you reached your destination. Daraya pushed you away, ready to spit an insult until she realized it was you and her face grew a tinge of jade.

“Oh um… Sorry, thought you were someone wanting to pick a fight,” she said, dusting you off with her hands briskly.

“That’s alright, my fashion changes within the minute, I never recognize myself, it’s good to see you,” you beam at her, white toothy smile and all.

Daraya shoved her fists into her elbows, crossing her arms and blowing her bangs up with a huff. She scuffed at the ground a moment, you almost forgot about the awkward silences that dragged on when you were around her, but that was alright, she wouldn’t be Daraya without it.

“Yeah whatever, lets walk,” Daraya jeered her head down the street and you gladly accompanied her.

You guessed there was not much you missed in the city with the couple days you spent roughing in out on the ranch. You decided to fill the silence with telling Daraya about it, despite her disposition and apathy towards everything, she was a good listener. The streets were a bit wet in some patches while you two wandered, Daraya moved you through a few shortcuts to avoid any drones circling around. The constant near death at every corner on this planet was teaching you to be chill or not as affected, you weren’t sure how to feel about that.

“So where did you get the dumb boots?” Daraya asked as you two began approaching a building that was in ruins on a street corner.

Daraya wanted to go in, there was a clear wired fence and signs that read as clear, “DO NOT TRESPASS ON THIS PROPERTY,” but Daraya did not care one bit, she held her cool head up high and made you give her a boost.

“My friend Skylla gave them to me before I left,” you responded, Daray was sitting on the fence’s threshold, holding out her hand to you. Taking it, you were swept away by her strength as she practically tossed you over. You let out a low groan and continued in a rushed and a tad breathless voice.

“She’s had them since she was a wriggler or something, pupa? I don’t know, but their the shit.”

“I don’t really care to correct you, but as long as you’re happy with them,” Daraya plopped down onto the ground, you followed a little less graciously.

“Then I don’t give a shit.”

You tote behind Daraya, the structure of the building was still in tact, so it was not too dangerous. There were all sorts of different tags of graffiti on the inside of the building, there was a lot of burnt up fire damage on the drywall. Possibly arsonry, considering how when they checked up the stairs of the building the fire consumed the walls in odd patterns.

There was a piece of graffitti you giggled at, all it said was, “Suck my Nook,” for some reason it tickled your funny bone out of nowhere. Daraya rolled her eyes at you with a scoff.

Then, the frame of the creaky building shook as a crash sounded below on the ground floor. You lock eyes with Daraya, she gave you a sharp look, placing a finger over her lips and gesturing to her feet. Before you could question if she wanted your opinion on her footwear or not she started moving. You watched her move over the floorboards carefully before catching on, she was walking on the seams where the floorboards were nailed in to be exact.

Catching on you followed her pattern, keeping light in your sweet cowboy kicks as Daraya and you slowly move towards the stairs. There was laughter bubbling from below, Daraya turns towards you and mouths, “ _stay_ ,” at you as she peeks down the stairwell.

Once she got a good look at whoever was down there, her shoulders relaxed. Standing up, Daraya looks at you, relief was set over her stone expression.

“It’s just Elwurd and co,” she explained and the tension was released from you as well.

You two headed down, there were some trolls you dd not know, but Elwurd looked at you and Daraya and pulled you into a sideways hug, the kind of hug someone as suave as her could pull off. Elwurd looked at Daraya, who was a lot more stiff than earlier when they didn’t know who was down here earlier.

“...Daraya right? You’re Bronya’s friend.” Elwurd spoke towards Daraya, eye's flickered with that low tone of interest..

“...Yeah.” Daraya replied stiffly and you had the sudden urge to play the game of the best interspecies wingman for Daraya as possible.

“Daraya and I met at one of your parties, well, more like outside of it, there was  Cha-”

Daraya gave you a look and your voice did a 360 turn.

“-really rowdy purple dude being really mean to… _GIRLS_ \- Really mean to some girls so Daraya really handed him his...rumpusrobe,” you covered quickly, popping the b at the end of your sentence. 

Daraya gave you a look like you had not only just embarrassed her in front of her flush crush, but had also slaughtered the Mothergrub right in front of her and poured milk before the cereal. You felt a little guilty, you were trying not to lie so much for the sake of making friends, but this was a _sake_ for a friend. You hoped karma was on your side, or at least something was.

“Oh you mean Yealon? Yeah that guy sucks, he always shows up and harasses all the ladies, I wondered why he didn’t start showing up recently,” Elwurd smirked, looking over Daraya with an appraising look.

“It was nothing…” Daraya replied, you tried not to snicker, because as she said, it was quite literally nothing.

“Well you guys are free to hang, one of the bars around here was closing, so we took the party here, want a drink?”

Daray shrugged nonchalantly and followed Elwurd to the keg that a beefy troll was pouring drinks from, or at least what looked like a keg. You were also starting to get used to how almost every little thing was bug related, usually it would be creepy, but you found it fascinating and cool at this point.

There was a small bonfire being lit over a patch of broken floorboards that exposed the ground underneath, there was at least a dozen trolls here, some were passing around a vape, much like the one you and Cirava shared. An olive blooded troll girl in a romper and a black hoodie was sitting next to the fire stroking away at a ukulele, or what you thought was one; meanwhile on the other side of the area a few gold bloods were playing some tunes from speakers in their pockets. With all the red cups floating around and chill atmosphere, it reminded you a lot of home.

You plopped down in front of the fire, this is the first time you’ve felt homesick, albeit you’ve been homesick it’s just that now it was really hitting you. Somehow you’ve ended up here, a place no one knew you, trying to make friends like it was your first big day at school. You can’t even go outside when the sun was out, you were diurnal before crashing down here, the sun, the warmth, the green grass, blue skies and one perfectly shining silver moon above head at night on a thick black canvas of the sky. Then how it bleeds away into color when the sun daybreaks, before you knew it a tear slid down the curve of your face, realising it when the wetness hit your dry palms.

You pressed the palms of your hands into your eye sockets, this was nothing you could do now. You did so well with making this place something like home, Daraya sat by you and handed you a drink. For once in your life you accepted it and took a sip, before spitting it back out into the cup and handing it back.

The party was really nice, you talked along with the olive blood girl that was strumming away on her instrument, she took a picture with you and asked to post it to Chitter before you both played over what filter she should use.

Daraya and Elwurd were getting along very well, things were going excellently in that department. You gave yourself an interspecies wingman pat on the back.

Then there was a crash, it rumbled the ground and everyone was quite, except for the sound of the fire crackling. A second crash, from above, dust spewed down from above. That’s when you heard someone by the door yell, “ _Subjugs and drones! Scatter!_ ”

It all happened at once, there was a whirring sound as wood cracked open, you were caught up in the rush as insidious laughter that would haunt your dreams cackeled into the ruins. You could not find Daraya in the rush or Elwurd, the olive blood, Slinne, pushed you with her towards the back of the building. There she lifted a hatch, you had little time to contemplate going down as she kicked you into the abyss. Your form slammed into the concrete, this was much like the underground workings like Mallek’s special place. You wandered endlessly through tunnels for what felt like hours before finding a hatch and coming out from a sewer lid in an alleyway.

Shaken and scared, you kept moving, slowly looking out into the bussy street, spotting a drone fifteen feet away, you don’t risk it. Slinking back into the alley, you carefully move through the space deftly, not wanting to get culled or mugged on the spot. You stopped moving at some point when the noise dialed down, that was when you got grabbed by the back of your denim jacket. You flailed, turning on your heel and swinging your elbow out to knock whoever grabbed you away. Your swing was deflected and you were met with familiar deep blue eyes that caught in the light in a way that made your heart putter. You wanted to burst into tears seeing Mallek again, it’s been too long. Apparently you did, because Mallek’s face was soon covered in a mix of surprise and panic and that was when you realized your face was wet again.

“How did you?” you asked, your voice came out raspy.

“I got notified on Goregle from that alert I made, someone posted a picture of you and the location was one where a sweep was being done, kind of had to track you from there, you are no easy alien to find.”

A laugh escaped your mouth, but soon you felt like you were going to start having a breakdown, a really uncool breakdown in front of Mallek. Without hesitating he grabbed you and wrapped his arms around your form, his hoodie carried his scent and you wished you still had the one he leant you. You can’t remember what happened to it, except that it must of gotten stolen. You really loved that hoodie, it was Mallek’s after all.

“It’s ok to spill some dismay fluid,” he said calmly, giving you a squeeze that was tighter than necessary, but it brought a feeling of security with it, “I got a coop nearby, lets go lay low.”

* * *

After walking a block from where you met up with Mallek, you both clambered up a fire escape to the coop Mallek had stationed out here. It was like a flat apartment, but more of a studio with a loft, spacious with a weird set of hallways. Mallek explained this place had a set of doormen and didn’t want you or him to get caught going through the front. The place was nearly empty and you would suspect Mallek of breaking and entering if he clothes weren’t here, or some of his familiar mess and especially the fact that he just gave you a spare key for emergencies. This guy really knew how to treat you.

“You can use the ablution trap, it’s in the door by the food storage closet, also if you want you can borrow my clothes again, if you don’t mind trading signs,” Mallek said as he popped the tab from what looked like a curvy soda can.

You furrowed your brows in confusion on the sign part, until you looked down and noticed that Skylla’s sign was actually embroidered and embellished on the boots, you did not even notice until just then. Without missing a beat, you looked up at Mallek with a small smirk and said, “well you should know I look great in _your_ shade of blue.”

The color formed across Mallek’s face and you did not fully registered what you had said until you were behind the bathroom door staring at the bathtub when it hit. That came out of nowhere and you really hoped it was alright, or that Mallek didn’t get the wrong idea of you. But then again, what would be the wrong idea? That you’re easy? A flirt?

You slid down the bathroom door and sat there staring at the tiles, trying not to make a sound as you chewed on your lower lip. There were some things left unsaid between you an Mallek when you were together last time, the small flirting after he had drug your ass out from the water, the staring before that, or how you felt excited to see him. You liked him a lot, besides the attraction, he was able to open up to you and it felt so right and natural. Part of you wanted to kiss his face till you pass out from lack of breath and the other part wanted to swap stories with him or stick around. Or maybe this will pass.

Finally you stripped off the borrowed clothes and let the cleaning process begin, once there was some warm running water again you felt better, at ease. After this you have to check back in with Daraya and Elwurd to make sure they made it, shoot Slinne a dm on Chitter, she did help you escape after all.

Once you felt cleaner on the outside and a bit on the inside, the water was turned off and you wiped the condescension off of the mirror. You looked a bit more taut than you usually did, you were a lot more softer when living on Earth. The fading scars under your chest looked a lot better, everything goes away with time. It reminded you of the conversation you had with Mallek when he gave you his hoodie to wear.

_“Are those grubscars?” he asked, ringing some water out from the tuft of hair on his head, it looked silly, until he began combing it back with his nails._

_“What?”_

_“You know, like these,” Mallek gestured to the two sets of what looked like a mix of raised skin and scaring that hugged the sides of his body in a nice cerulean color._

_“Oh, well not exactly, it’s something I had done a few years ago, a sweep in your terms,” you explain subtly, but Mallek only looked a bit confused and instead of feeling nervous about this conversation, like you do with everyone, you felt calm about explaining._

_“So, I’m not so sure about how troll biology works, or social structure towards gender, but I was born with female bits,” you looked at Mallek, who seemed a little hesitant to give his own input._

_“Like, uh…” he flushed a tad bit at the apples of his cheeks, “with rumble spears?”_

_“If you mean the sacks of fat on the chest, then yeah, and I dunno about how exactly reproduction systems work, but for us the females only have orifices and males have phalics- does this make sense?”_

_Mallek nodded slowly, “ so, in troll terms you have only a nook and had rumble spears.”_

_“Mhmm, I’m not a girl though, on a biological level I’m female in only one department now, but in any sense, I’m a boy as much as you are, then again from what I learn troll culture doesn’t have any hangups on a lot of this stuff.”_

_“No, I’ve met a few trolls like you, we just function a bit differently, gender isn’t a big concern and genitalia is different when everyone has the same set.”_

_That took you aback for a moment, but you didn’t want to make Mallek or his species seem weird to you. So slowly you spoke with careful caution._

_“So… You have both, a bulge and a nook…?”_

_Mallek nodded, both of your faces were flushed and you both were trying not to make the other feel uncomfortable right now._

_“Y-yeah, I have one, some trolls have two bulges, nook anatomy is… interesting, obviously it’s not all the same, I just realized why you didn’t like me trying to plug that Ethernet cord- I’m so sorry.”_

It was awkward, but it was oddly sweet, Mallek didn’t even stop using your pronouns after that, he just took that information in stride. Maybe you would've liked to explain it better, but you found yourself not caring too much, compared to your experiences on Earth with that subject. At least here everyone saw you as you, despite not having your testosterone shots anymore, you felt not afraid of being yourself in public in that way.

You looked over at the clothes on the floor, you’d like to get them washed, there’s no way you’d ditch Skylla’s boots, Skylla was too big of a sweetheart and gave you something sentimental to fit your tinier human feet. On the downside, you rushed in here and didn’t take any of Mallek’s clothes with you…

Grabbing the pair of black lace panties you briefly remember a social media fan of yours sending you, you rolled them up over your ass. There were these cute bows and a fashionable lace up situation on them, the lace was patterned out into roses too. Scooping up your dirty clothes along with the towel, you tucked your palmhusk under your arm and exited the bathroom.

Mallek was over in the kitchen, moving around, being aware of how you were dressed right now in a tight pair of weirdly suggestive panties and nothing else, you cleared your throat to get his attention. He turned to face you, almost dropping the saucepan in his hands, you were sure he had no clue what he was doing, or you really caught him off guard. You gestured to the bundle of laundry in your arms, Mallek cleared his throat and pointed over to a folded door closet on the other side of the pantry.

“C-clothing devices are in there, uh, um, you can still borrow some of my clothes if you want…” Mallek’s face was flushed blue all the way to the tips of his ears, he looked too cute to be real in your opinion.

“Thank you,” you hummed at him sweetly, moving over to the closet and finding something similar to a washer and dryer. You disposed of your clothes, making sure to turn out the pockets just in case.

Before turning on the washer though, you excuse yourself to run up to the loft and change into Mallek’s clothes. There was a cerulean shirt and a pair of his boxers, but then your realized you wanted to be warm and comfy instead of just comfy and showing skin. You plucked out a pair of sweatpants and one of his hoodies, before pulling on the sweatpants though, you removed the under wear and hid it in the hoodie’s pouch pocket. Clambering back down to the washing machine you sneakily disposed the undergarment into the wash, going commando was bold to do in someone else’s clothes, but you were clean last you checked and you weren’t afraid of space crabs.

Once the machine was running after taking a full five minutes to figure it out on your own you sighed and looked back over to Mallek. A little curious, you slide into the kitchen to see what was going on, Mallek looked over at you, a warm smile on his face.

“What are you making?” you asked, casually leaning against the counter as Mallek whisked something in the sauce pan and added some yellow powder to it.

“Boiled processed and cured wheat dough with some cooked cluckbeast and dairy sourced products, it’s not much, but it was what I could find in the hunger trunk that wasn’t terrible.”

You looked over his shoulder, the ingredients he was using looked malicious, but that was a lot of troll food here. All in weird shapes and colors, clearly edible for you to consume, but also really tasty depending on where you would eat.

“Mind picking a movie? We can chill and catch up on the couch when I’m done here,” Mallek nodded over at the tv, you smile and nod.

* * *

Dinner was surprisingly really good, despite how messy Mallek’s place actually was with the cluttered dishes he must be used to cooking for himself a lot. You picked out an old sci fi film to watch, which became more along the lines of background noise while you two caught up and conversation flowed so easily like before. Mallek talked about hacking more and more drones, he said he was able to use them as surveillance now, had a small fleet of them where he can watch and know what’s going on. Especially when it came to relationships.

“I thought drones were like cracked down police force here?”

Mallek shook his head with a chuckle, “nah, drones primarily collect genetic material and if you haven't produced any with anyone within a certain time frame you get insta culled.”

“Wait… so if you don’t have someone to… Then you get, offed, just like that?”

Mallek shrugged, “well yeah, it’s why dating the quadrants quickly shift a lot or get overly convoluted, then again that could just be because of creatures of habit and drama is in troll nature.”

“I think that way a lot about humans, although we’re about twelve percent less murdery, but I did not know something like that can happen.”

Mallek shrugged and leaned back on the couch, “it’s one way to keep population going.”

“Sounds like a lot of pressure for something that’s supposed to relieve pressure… I think my laundry is ready to get transfered.”

Getting up, you move around towards the kitchen where the washer and dryer were tucked away into the small closet area. You pop the lid of the washer open, everything looked alright, nothing discolored or messed up. While you were finishing up transfering the clothes from the washer to the dried you felt another body behind you, a slight glance back and you saw a bit of blue.

Mallek drew close behind you, you could feel his warmth soaking into your skin as you reached over to close the lid to the drier, hand hesitating over the buttons. He reached over your shoulder, his chest pressed against your back a bit as he punched in the timer and setting for you and pressed start, the dried roaring to life.

He was still in your space as you slowly turned around to face him, Mallek was staring at you boldly with those blue eyes of his, one of his arms lowering from where it pressed the start button behind you now to rest on the drier next to your side. Mallek tilted his head at you, a curious look on his face.

“You know I figured I should just ask instead of assume,” he began, his nails strumming on the metal of the drier next to your body, you could feel the tiny vibrations on your skin over the way the drier moved and tumbled.

“Are you flushed for me?”

You chewed on your bottom lip again, mind was fluttered back to that similar question and thoughts you had earlier in the bathroom about him. For a moment you pulled away your concerns, anxieties and what _ifs. I_ t was clear, it’s always been clear, but a stubborn answer to find. Heat rose to your cheeks as you looked over the curve of Mallek’s jaw, to his lips and flickering up to his eyes.

“Yeah, I have a flush crush on you,” you answered, feeling the tension slip away with your answer, yet it was still palpable in a different way, “I know it has not been long, but I do and I think the feeling might be mutual.”

Now it was time for Mallek’s face to light up again in a cerulean blush, for some reason, despite the difference in blood color and a lot of other things, it was familiarly endearing to see Mallek blush like that.

“It _definitely_ is,” he responded and you giggle at him reaching forward to grab at the fabric of Mallek’s hoodie pocket.

“Mind showing me then? I’m a bit of a hands on learner when new facts come to my attention,” you tilt your head up at Mallek, catching the toothy grin on his face as his other hand comes up to gently glide over the surface of your cheek.

“I can teach you a thing or two, but I’ll be glad to _repeat_ this lesson.”


	2. I Cut My Hand Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So good, so good,” you were muttering as Mallek’s mouth moved to kiss down the span of your neck until he reached your collarbones, scattering love bites down there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck the troll

You breathed in slowly through your mouth, Mallek leaned down into your space, his hand on the dried grabbed your waist gently. He was warm and tempting, you let yourself get tempted by him and leaned up to meet him, tilting your head to the side. It was a firm press of lips, nothing too much, pull away a little, he chuckles and you pull yourself back in to firmly lick against his lips. His body language changed a bit from that bold move, moth drawing open and his hand curled down your cheek to your neck, a thumb tracing over your pulse.

Forgetting about those sharp teeth, you lean in to swipe your tongue into his mouth, sighing delightedly. It was fine for a moment, you were excited about finding the ball of metal on his tongue until Mallek had place his hand to your shoulder and slowly pried you away. You were about to ask what was wrong until you saw smudge of crimson on his lips. You touched your mouth, and your tongue, wincing on impact of touching both.

“ _Shit_ , sorry,” Mallek looked a bit panicked as he moved to open and check your mouth, “I didn’t mean to fuck up your taste appendage-why are you laughing.”

You shoved Mallek’s hands away from your mouth, spewing out laughter quietly, body shaking like the dryer behind you.

“I really thought your teeth were hot, but of course the first time we kiss my mouth gets fucked up, I didn’t even realise your teeth cut me, it’s just a bit funny,” you giggled out, Mallek’s ears turned a lovely shade of blue, he was pouting now.

Saying nothing, you reach up to brush your fingers over his lips where your blood was still wet, without speaking you leaned up and licked it off of his face. This phased Mallek out of his pouting enough.

“ _Wh-_ ”

“I’m _fine_ , mouths heal quickly, and I don’t mind you being a little rough with me anyways,” your hand traced down his neck as you said this, you were fascinated by how his throat muscles moved there, clearly swallowing.

Looking back at Mallek’s face, you caught his blue gaze, he was gently chewing on his bottom lip, staring at you. This time when you collided your mouths worked slowly, cautiously, but Mallek’s hands were on your waist, hot and heavy as he lifted you up on top of the dyer. Your body vibrated with the machine at work, which made you laugh until Mallke moved you to the washer instead, his hands pressing up under his shirt you were wearing. His hands were warm and skidded over your skin in a soothing manner.

His mouth moved away from yours to lick and bite at the landscape of your neck, a low rumbling sound popped into your head, you assumed it was the dryer, but it sounded a lot like purring. You let out a delighted groan when Mallek’s teeth grazed over your skin and jolted when he gave a sharp long suck, his nails on your stomach biting down into your skin. Gasping and squirming, you grabbed his horns firmly to quite literally get a grip. When you did this you felt Mallek give a full body shudder. Biting your lip, you carefully rub your thumb over the smooth expanse of his horn and was met with those sharp teeth pricking your neck. You let out a rushed out moan, Mallek pulled back, red was on his lips again and hunger in his eyes.

Colliding against each other, mouth to mouth, Mallek’s hands slipped out from under the shirt and instead were yanking down the sweatpants instead. You shimmied your hips and then lifted them to make it easier to remove, bare skin meeting the cold metal below you. Once your pants were fully removed, Mallek’s hand tailed up your thighs towards your core, meeting bare flesh of your pussy. Mallek gave a small curse and pulled away from your mouth to look down, oh. Right. Commando.

“Didn’t want to wear dirty panties,” you quickly explain, the words rushing out before you could edit them first. There was a prolonged amount of silence in the area between you two.

Mallek burst into laughter, you did as well, it was really silly, but hey you two were youths with little experience on alien sex here. When you both calmed down, Mallek took a moment to look down at your sex, a little intrigued by it. Your face lit up in heat, you felt very much on display and exposed right now, should you tell him what to do? Maybe explain how a human vagina works?

The questions faded from your head quickly when Mallek’s fingers traced between the lips of your labia, it was a simple touch, but part of your brain went haywire and you shuddered. You watched as his two fingers disappear inside you, feeling how he traced the insides of your entrance, then the pads of his fingertips stretched your opening and you let out a low moan, your head lolling to the side. He kept slowly stretching you open with his fingers pressing, prodding, not sinking in deep, just playing with your nerves there as you whined and moaned.

Mallek’s head moved into the crook of your neck again, lips tracing your pulse up to your ear, sharp teeth teasing you there, “ _you like that_?”

His voice vibrated against your skull, it was huskier than usual and made you shudder and whine again pathetically, soon turning into a moan when he added a third finger to stretch you open more, it burned so good.

“You like _feeling_ me stretch you open like _that_?” he spoke again, making you shudder down to your core, he slipped his fingers in then, deep, “you're so _tight_ for me.”

Then Mallek’s hand slid out and you protested, he nipped at your ear, his other hand pressed on your shoulder, making you lie back awkwardly on the washer in a cramped position. You shifted in your spot, the same hand then grabbed your hip and pulled you forward and up, legs resting on Mallek’s shoulders. He held up the hand that was playing with you, it was wet with your fluid, he stares you down with mischievous blue eyes as he icked his hand clean, letting out a low groan. You felt your insides clench, you were tempted to reach down and get yourself off while you watched, but you didn’t out of a part of you feeling like you should not do that.

“You taste _good_ ,” he purred, his now wet hand grabbing your hip and without another word his head dipped down to lick a flat line across your cunt.

You shuddered,  spreading your thighs apart so his horns would not knock against them, your lower half was lifted up to him and he drank you up with his tongue lavishing against the hood of your clit, making you cry out. Mallek shifted, using one arm to grab around your lower abdomen to keep you stable while his other hand moved under you, fingers tracing up your spine. Shaking in his hold, weak and tense from Mallek’s tongue, flicking up on your clit, his hand tracing up your thigh, moving to rub your folds and man you were shaking a lot.

Then, you ended up remembering his tongue piercing now as Mallek’s mouth wrapped down around the top of your slit and his tongue rubbed down hard against your clit, purposely batting against it with the metal piercing. You hands scrambled against the washer, before you reached up to grab his horns again. Mallek groaned against you, it vibrated up your spine, his fingers dipped into you again, moving in a circular motion to tease your entrance again while his tongue moved the ball piercing down on your clit mercilessly. You could not hold on much longer, the grip he hard around you tightened with your hands gripping his horns harder. There was that full gracing period of nothing but pleasure coursing up your veins, you legs grew numb, Mallek’s fingers sunk in and out of you quickly and you lost it, letting out a scream as you convulsed against the washer.

It was a white hot release, Mallek was still fingering you, but slowed his tongue down against your clit after a moment. Soon it became too much and too overwhelming, he pulled his mouth off, a trail of saliva connected to his lips from your cunt and you let out a weak moan seeing him like that. Without saying another woord, Mallek’s hand that was inside you kept slowly thrusting, you were confused until his thumb brushed up to your clit again and pressed down in slow circular motions. Another orgasm waved over you, calm and relaxing, it quaked through you, shook out the last energy you had left in your bones. You were jelly, Mallek gave it a moment before he removed his hand, lazily sucking off the juices from his hand with a dopey grin. You were too focused on stabilizing your breath at the moment, your head was cloudy, but you managed to speak up through it.

“Do you want me to return the favor?” you blurted out, voice worn out and raspy, you almost did not recognize it.

You watched the flush on Mallek’s face grow darker, “don’t uh, worry about it.”

Raising an eyebrow, you struggled out of his grip and sat up to look down at his pants, finding them soaked all the way through. You weren’t even exaggerating, there was a puddle of blue down at Mallek’s feet, it was a little cute, but you weren’t going to laugh at him. Instead you moved your hand to slid below his pants, making Mallek sputter.

It was really damp, almost like he had wet himself, but the texture was off, then you jumped when you felt something grab your hand. Trying not to seem freaked out, you looked up to meet Mallek’s eyes.

“...I think your genitalia is much more complicated than mine,” was all you could manage to say before Mallek buried his face into his hands. You felt a bit panicked, you didn’t want to be that asshole who makes their partner feel like shit about their body.

“I-it’s not a bad thing- we’re both alien to each other so of course its d- holycrapitsmoving,” your voice squeaked on the last part when whatever that grabbed you twisted around to your wrist, wet and throbbing a bit.

“Yeah uh… it does that…”

This became super awkward really quick, you weren’t sure how to fix the issue, so without thinking, you used your free hand to pull Mallek’s pants and underwear down to get a look at the appendage that was wrapped around you hand. You paused a moment, looking over it, it was like a tentacle, thick with an interesting spotted pattern at the base, a few frills here and there… For some reason it looked really hot to you.

The appendage was slick too, the tip was the thinnest part of the bulge, right that’s what they call it, it flared out a bit and dribbled a bit of semi opaque blue fluid. It was pretty long, and kind of vicious feeling in your hand, but there was muscle, it was kind of like a tongue, but harder. The bulge slid further up your wrist, you moved your thumb up against its surface, feeling a frill with your digit. A low wine came from Mallek when you did this, looking back up at him you noticed he was flushed all over.

“Your bulge is really _nice_ ,” you whispered to him, feeling how it tensed around your hand, “ it’s such a pretty flushed color of blue, just like you.”

You gripped the bulge back, moving your hand slightly and Mallek’s hips bucked against your hand, you chuckled, feeling intoxicated by all of this.

“Look at you, so _good_ and responsive for me, so _perfect_ ,” you kept talking, feeling how your words were affecting him, “be you would feel nice inside me, it’ll be so good baby, do you want that?”

Mallek whined in response, he was shaking and seemed to be absorbed by you touching him, so you used your free hand to grab his horn and jerk him down to your eye level.

“I need an answer baby, _please_?” you asked, gripping his bulge hard and giving it a squirming stroke. You could see water gathering at the edges of Mallek’s eyes, for a moment you were concerned he was actually hurt, but then he bit his lip and nodded.

“Speak to me, _please_?”

“Y- _yes_ ,” he finally groaned out, you rewarded him with a few quick strokes you could manage to pump out to his bulge.

“Yes _what_ baby?” you weren’t sure where the pet names came from, but it seemed to work well for the situation.

“I w-wanna be inside you, _fuck_ , wanna stretch you out on my _bulge_ ,” he managed to hiss out, you rewarded him with a chaste kiss and drew your hand away from his bulge.

“Let’s do that in the ablution trap,” you suggested and Mallek nodded.

You slid off of the washer, almost slipping on the ground where Mallek’s genetic material was, Mallek snickered at you. You pushed him towards the bathroom, peeling off the shirt on your back, discarding it to go full naked on your way in. Closing the door behind you, you grabbed Mallek by his sleeve and kissed him hard on the mouth, his pants were off but he still had his hoodie on. You remedied that quickly, practically tearing it off of him and as soon as it was removed you were getting pushed down into the bathtub.

Mallek and you were cramped up in the tub, but that gave a solid excuse for Mallek to crowed you up to the corner of the tub where there wasn’t the spout. He spread your legs open and grinded down against your cunt, you felt his bulge squirm between your folds and you let out a low moan. The one advantage of being a boy with a vagina was multiple orgasms with the fast recharge rate you had, you were just glad Mallek was ready to go again.

He was holding onto your thighs, keeping them apart as you felt the tip of his bulge pressing into your entrance, then it filled you up quicker than you expected and you were both hilt to hilt. The stretch was there and when you flex your muscles down there around him you could feel how it both hurt and filled you up with sparks of pleasure you wanted to chase. Fuck this could be addicting.

You reached back to grip the edge of the tub behind you, shallowly thrusting into Mallek’s body while he held you, feeling your muscles and skin ache with protests of pain, but fuck it felt so good. Mallek let out a moan with you at that, his nails digging into your skin, he pulled back and pushed back in a thudding pace. Your shoulder blades were hitting against the bathtub with his thrusts, but that did not matter to you.

“Fuck, _fuck_ you look so good stretched around me,” Mallek cursed, thrusting into you a little faster, his blue gaze trailing over you again and you met it with your own gaze.

You gripped onto his horns again when Mallek leaned down to kiss you, it was messy and wet, but he was pounding inside of you so good and hard you could hardly care. Everytime he hit your cervix hard your nails scrambled against his horn and his hips would stutter into you.

“ _So good, so good_ ,” you were muttering as Mallek’s mouth moved to kiss down the span of your neck until he reached your collarbones, scattering love bites down there.

One of Mallek’s hands slid down from your thigh to press down and swirl your clit, his hips moving in low and rushed movements now. His other hand pressed down on your neck without warning and you felt yourself holding your breath as his lips drew back, exposing his sharp teeth. He bit down on your arm, you watched as red ran down your arm onto your chest, the pain set off something in you and you came hard again, overwhelmed and tensing everywhere. Your voice came out hoarse with your cry this time and you heard Mallek coming a second after you.

His bulge was pulsing in you, you could feel it, as if he was stalling before his material spilled inside you and by spill you really mean spill. You felt your inner walls stretch with the fluid filling you before it ran out from your entrance. There was so much of it, you soon realized why buckets were an appropriate sex item in troll culture, this was just from Mallek, you didn’t want to think about how much two trolls could produce. You were both breathing hard, Mallek finished orgasming slowly, his bulge wriggled around inside of you a moment as he pulled out, more fluid came out and you winced a bit at the feeling.

Mallek looked down at your body a moment, watching his genetic material flush out from you, you felt very weak everywhere, but it was rare to feel this thoroughly fucked out for you. He pressed down on your lower stomach, it was not like how it was in bukkake hentai with your stomach bulging with fluid, but it helped your weak body drain more of his material out. You moved your arms down from their grip on the tub, feeling the ache and cringing from how it hurt, but it felt so good.

Mallek got up and out of the tub slowly, reaching for the detachable shower head and moving it down to point the nozzles on it towards the end of the tub you weren't occupying. He turned it on, waiting a moment, testing the temperature on his hands before he came over and used it to wash the rest of his fluids off of you. You helped a little by sitting up and rubbing some of it off with the water on your thighs, then took the nozzle and did the same for Mallek. While you dd so you could not help be notice where his nook was right below his bulge in a nice cute seam of lips that looked similar to the frills on his bulge. Part of you was tempted to eat him out, but you decided that wouldn’t be a good idea at the moment.

Once you were both cleaned off you plugged the tub, ablution trap, and switched to the faucet while Mallek grabbed a first aid kit to wrap your arm for the time being. The healing wall would have to wait.

Once everything was settled down, you and Mallek soaked in the tub together, he held you properly against his chest as you two talked back and forth about movies and comics like two happy nerds in a tub.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it, I wrote fanfiction for a fandom I have not written for in such a long time. Seriously if you enjoyed this or want to leave me a sexy complaint down below feel free to, my wrist hurts and this was such a self indulgent write.
> 
> If you want to bully me for writing troll porn, check out my tumblr >>> https://euphoriawriter.tumblr.com/ <<<  
> (If you want to teach me how to insert links into text feel free to message me, I've been on Ao3 too long to not know how to insert links into text.)
> 
> Keep it sexy guys
> 
> -Jasper <3

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me that sexy sexy comment down below on your thoughts and opinions, chapter two will come out shortly to wrap up this shin dig.
> 
> Mallek came into my house, stole my laptop, held me hostage and blackmailed me to write this, get gud.
> 
> *This chapter will get edited in the future*
> 
> Also hi, I'm trans, this fic is for myself and other people that get a little sad at the lack of trans x reader fics- I know its such an uncommonly focused on detail in x reader fics, but it makes me happy and if it makes you happy, then I'm doubly happy!
> 
> -Jasper


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